August 22 Waning Moon

Detroit feels like the background to a Toni Morrison book. I am not sure what I expected when arriving here but this was not it. Detroit is very spread out and feels a lot more mid-west than I anticipated. BUT I'M IN DETROIT!! I'M REALLY HERE! THIS IS THE FIFTH STOP!! AHHHHH! I'm so excited to see what this place has in store. I am already feeling good things. I am in this really dope cafe that is playing this great jazz music. I feel electricity in my body from the anticipation of the countless opportunities that await. I am excited to just walk and explore. On my way here I was looking around to find interesting places to visit and saw nothing but dope graffiti on abandoned buildings. Seeing Detroit so far makes me feel like I read about this place before. I am still in need of finding more stable housing but I'll think about that a little later. Today my mestre reminded me to relax, enjoy, and have fun ( it was in reference to my capoeira) but I think I'll apply the advice elsewhere.

Feeling a bit anxious, I'm even writing vigorously. Taking a moment to breathe slower and take my time. Take more in. This feels better but I still feel like I want to burst. Burst! With joy, love, gratitude, smiles, and laughs. I could break out in dance right now if only it was socially acceptable. I have been thinking lately about what's next and how I could go from living such a joy -filled life to doing anything else other than this. No one tells you that when you follow your dreams, you are embarking on an unspoken challenge to yourself to stay committed to your joy. After doing this I can't imagine how I would work at a desk or file paperwork for someone else. Thinking that just filled me with another layer of electricity because this trip has set me up to have a joy-filled life. That's not to say that it won't be hard or challenging but that I will always be committed to this level of joy in my life. This joy is not devoid of work but rather enhanced by the work. This level of joy is distinct from happiness because happiness is fleeting (as my father says). Joy-on the other hand- remains constant because even when challenges arrive you understand them as necessary. This joy almost feels like a drug. I know this sounds cheesy but some things in life require cheesiness. This joy drug is better than any other drug because I am the supplier. I am the source. I know the exact strain I want and can conjure it within me accordingly. How cool is that? This exchange between myself and these pages has been wonderful. Give thanks.

*Side note: I just noticed a plant that looks like the one I have at home. It brought a slight peace to my spirit. For some reason I now feel like everything will be okay.*

Later that day

I've only been exploring Detroit for 4 hours but I can feel its history as I walk the sidewalks. Detroit feels like someone gathered up some Black folks from Alabama and Mississippi and plopped them up north and they haven't gotten used to city life yet. For example, I'm in a bookstore looking at books and a elderly man comes in and asks the owner, "How do you cook yellow split peas?" She proceeds to tell him and they have a small disagreement about whether they should be soaked or not. Then they end up agreeing and proceed to have another conversation. The man seemed to have no intention in engaging with the actual purpose of the store. Later on in the conversation the elderly man refers to "those big meetings" and appears to be referring to conferences. I almost feel like I am in a movie. I just love it. I really do. The homes are built in such a way that upon first glance I feel like I can imagine at least four generations of memories and storytelling. Everything feels slow. I am aware of the history of the migration of Black folks to this city but didn't expect for it to be so saturated this many years later. Looking forward to what else is in store.

Even later that day

Detroit is making me feel very creative- hence this being my third entry today. I am excited for the things I will create while here and can see why Motown was created here. There is something in the air that makes you want to hum a funky tune. It makes you want to tap your foot and snap on the one and the two (with a slight drag on the one). I have an itch to paint something or go dancing or create a cool jacket with some scrap fabric. Also trying to harness this energy into finding a suitable hairstyle for the city. Well, the world awaits.

-MJ