July 15 Full Moon

My birthday celebration is finally over and I am allowed to think about the tour. I am greatly fighting the urge to write a to-do list and instead reflect on the days just passed. They were fulfilling. I learned a whole lot about myself and further learned how to refine the purpose speed dating event. I facilitated it at the retreat and got great feedback from my friends on my thoughts and ideas. Today I will do an exercise where I get a minute to write down what my tour is about ten times and then do the same thing speaking. I just made that up as I am writing this but think it will be a fabulous exercise. I am already thinking about the New York stop and what places I want to visit and who I want to interview. I'll have all that squared away by Wednesday or Thursday. Today is about finally letting my community know about what I am doing, finally cleaning out my room, and hopefully getting income squared. I am so grateful that Mondays have become much brighter.

Later that day

I am refining and finding language for this tour. I am joyful and simultaneously feel a little lost. I am exhausted. I am hopeful. I kept noticing people going to the pool today so I think I shall do so tomorrow. I am determined to hack this hump. This hump being pinpointing what the tour entails. Doubts are creeping up but I am trying not to let them fester but rather recognize them as thoughts and move on. I am letting my frustrations out through capoeira and vigorous writing. I just want to go to sleep but the work doesn't get done that way. I am grateful of my father's support and my mother's as well and am letting that push me through this time. It is coming together. The bricks are being laid and the child like wonder remains strong. Don't lose sight of the facts. You are worthy. You are disciplined. You are supported. You are intelligent. You. Got. This.

-MJ